I spend too much money

We have too many guests for comfort

My child gets too many presents

Gift bags are a pain

I spend too much shopping time for each birthday party

Our parties are too long

I feel inadequate to the task

I worry about whether it will be a good party

I worry about whether my child will like the party

I feel unappreciated for the effort I put into the party

I feel badly when my child does not like something about the party

I argue with my spouse/co-parent about whether the party is too much or too little

I worry that my parties are not as good as those of my neighbors

I don’t know where to store all the stuff my child receives

I feel exhausted when it’s all over

During the party there is too much:

Crying

Whining

Melting down

Reprimanding

Hyperactivity

Bonus points you can add to your score:

You know the local limo driver by first name

You need a multi-axle truck to deliver the party equipment

You enter web competitions for the most original birthday party

You know how to negotiate with professional talent agents

Your post-party recovery requires pharmaceuticals or alcohol